Living the questions

... I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet (1903)

This quote from the poet Rilke has been one of my favorites since I first read it, early in my adult life. It became almost like a mantra to me. In a time when analysis, control, and the need for certainty seem to be cultural obsessions, these words remind us of the value of not knowing and of proceeding from that standpoint. This applies to the creative process as well as to our individual and collective lives. It recognizes the mystery of life, and points out that something vital is lost when we try to plan, understand and control every step of our existence.

I don't know if it's a function of my age, or whether it's my own personal path, but I've reached a point where some of my early questions have lived their way, at least partially, into answers. Along the way, the questions have metamorphosed, many times over. Things now don't look at all like I thought they would. Much better, in some respects, but it's a bittersweet realization, and requires a good bit of grieving and letting go of what was, and what could have been.

It's as if I've spent so many years observing and experiencing things from so many different angles -- or to use another analogy, it's been like gazing through a kaleidoscope, continually changing the view -- and finally I've come to a moment where the pieces are all lining up into a coherent and simple image of perfect clarity.

Comments

[Sharon]

I am learning to be more philosophical about living with questions. As for my kaleidoscope, I am still trying to corral my colorful shards, which are scattered from one end of my life to the other. Looks like I have more observing and experiencing to do.

[Cindy L]

Oh yes, isn't this the most wonderful quote?! I am a longtime fan of "Letters to A Young Poet," and I try to reread it every couple of years or so. At midlife now, I find something new in it each time I dip back into it. Thanks for this reminder. You are a kindred spirit on this path.

[Kitty]

Sharon - I love the image of colorful shards. And I figure when I stop observing and experiencing, I'll be dead. :D

Cindy - It's always amazing to me that when I write things that I need to hear, it also speaks to others. The mystic in me knows that we are connected, but it's good to get a more 'earthly' confirmation of that. And to touch others also walking this path ...