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Hi Kitty

This post seems pretty tough. I have heard a bit about post traumatic stress syndrome but not too much.

I don't know if this is wise or not so make sure you talk to someone qualified first. But my suggestion--which I've learned only recently is that sometimes I've found myself trying to 'fight' things in my mind and that every time I fight it inadvertently makes the thing I hate, stronger.

I've found a new way though and that is of letting it be. In battle mode I tell myself that I will allow my demons to come out. That I will not suppress them any longer.

I don't let all of the demons out right away as that is a recipe for disaster. That is like releasing all this energy that you don't know how to fight or deal with.

But if you resolve to fight your demons a little bit at a time and do not suppress your 'bad' feelings...then you find that you can detach and let go of these things that are hurting your mind.

I must stress that the attitude is that you are happy to confront your fears/demons/negative feelings and that you embrace and accept them as they are and that you don't attach to them because they themselves are impermanent, unsatisfactory and empty of inherent exist. Or in other words, your thoughts are NOT who you are, nor do they define you. Oh no...your thoughts determine your focus, which in turn determines your reality at this moment.

But slowly through positive conditioning and re-enforcement, you can re-condition yourself into a person who is more powerful and strong and kind and compassionate than you could have ever dreamed of previously. Why? Because that's what tragedy can do sometimes. It can either highlight the things that are going wrong for us...or it can show us the true light of what is going right for us--what we can and should be grateful for.

just me...
i lived years without even noticing that i could not follow something through
i am thankful i notice now
and i know things will get better
for me
for you

alwaysdare, I want you to know that I read your comment yesterday morning, and I've been carrying your words around with me ever since. (And today was one of the "difficult" days.) We can "know" something, but it seems like there's always another level of knowing. What you wrote is resonating with some part of me that knows at a deeper level. (Also, just so you'll know, the accepting and letting out of the demons, and letting it be, is part of what I'm doing with my therapist, although he hasn't put it in those terms. So what you said is very timely and appropriate.) :)

Marlaine, thank you so much, and yes, they will, for both of us. :)

Kitty, I also stress and then keep the body weight and its so hard to get rid of, particularly for me with my hypothyroid (even though I work out 6 days a week with cardio and weight machines).

I think that the poster regarding a hole in the brain as said it well. Its like small steps...one day at a time....rebuild building blocks and take your time....it will be a slow process and that's better since you want to be able to recover and come out of the eye of the storm strong and ready..not weak and then even more ill when it all overwhelms you. slow and steady and remember you are here, in the moment, its ok and you are ok...keep it basic, keep it real as you always do but as said by Morrie in "Tuesdays with Morrie", embrace the feeling, live the feeling, let it go and bit by bit..its going to be ok:)

You are always in my thoughts and sending you good karma. I still say that there are library filled books still yet to be written for the one event besides 9/11 that has changed our entire lives forever. I bet that when you are ready there is a photography book and a book in you waiting to happen:)

Rainbow Hugs and Love sent your way:)

Michael

Thanks, Michael. I'm stll remembering how much your support last autumn meant to me :).

And I can definitely feel those books inside of me, waiting to come out. This blog is taking me somewhere, even though I don't know exactly where yet.

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